Short story about loneliness: Message to Grandad

Sweet Pea’s Video Diary – Thursday 3.30pm
Grandad. I miss you. I’m sitting here in my bedroom, thinking about you, in your house, alone.

I know you won’t get this, ‘cos you probably don’t use video chat, but…

Today I realised… sometimes… I feel a bit lonely. Not a lot. Not, like, enough to talk to someone about it.

But… I’m having a go now.

I walked home with my friends today, past your house, and… I thought of you.

Well… I was going the same way as the others, but… we were looking at different things… talking about different things…

We passed your house, Grandad. Did you see me? If you looked out the window, would you even notice? Or would you just see a bunch of young people, shuffling past, all pretending to be into the same thing?

We were all on our phones, I guess. I was too engrossed in mine to know – reading a young people’s magazine. Don’t worry. It’s not gossip and stuff. I’m not into that.

There’s real news, events, and reviews too. It’s called ‘Exposure’.

I wanted to see what my ‘friend’ Lauren was doing, so I leaned over.

Seemed to be just a funny cat video, but at least it was something we could talk about… right?

No. It wasn’t. She cut me off, turning to her ‘real’ friend.

I don’t mind. Really, I don’t. If I’m gonna be alone I might as well enjoy it, right?

What do you think, Grandad? Do you enjoy being alone? Can anyone?

I’m not lonely lonely, really.

I read somewhere that the social and health costs to London caused by loneliness run into billions. I don’t wanna be a burden – and I’d rather all that money was spent on people who were really alone; like older people…

I don’t mean you, Grandad. I hope you’re OK.

Video diary – Friday 7pm
I’m in the living room now, studying. Computer Science – my favourite subject. But today I can’t really focus on algorithms and HTML.

I get out that picture, the one of you and me together. I was about six years old, smiling in your arms. You used to call me Sweet Pea. Do you remember?

I scan the picture into my phone… add a few heart filters. Nah. You might think that’s a bit silly.

OK. Ditch the filters. Just the photo of us two. Together.

Video diary – Saturday 11am
Morning. A cold, grey day. On a park bench – revising. Had to get out for once.

There’s so much pressure, pressure, pressure. Easy to say but hard to measure. How can I create a world better than the one before?

I whip out my phone, check my socials. Quick procrastination for two seconds. There’s a message. From Lauren. Something nasty.

I go back to my work. I eat… alone.

Video diary – Saturday 7pm
I walk home through the park, in the dark, carrying my phone. Glad you weren’t there to see me – you’d be worried about your little Sweet Pea.

It’s alright, Grandad. I can look after myself… I think.

I snap a selfie, thinking maybe you won’t get this. Were people so obsessed with how they looked in your day, Grandad?

I delete the pic straight after. People will just say I’m trying too hard. Besides, it’s not the real me.

Sometimes I think, why even bother? There’s more important things that need to be sorted out.

If your generation’s right, if we are “the future”… we have to try and shape it…

Yeah, right. I can’t even control what’s going on today.

Video diary – Sunday 10am
I see your video chat message… to Sweet Pea. You’ve reached out; maybe you got my mobile number from Mum…

I knew you could do it.

I rush to see you, even dropping my phone on the chair at home. For once I don’t need it. I run all the way to your house.

I tentatively knock on the door. Will you answer? If you don’t, that’s OK. Maybe you’re busy…

You open the door.

“Sweet Pea!” you exclaim.

Grandad. I’ll always remember you. Forever.

Shakira is a visually-impaired writer and student at Kings College London, living in Tottenham. Loving history, literature and especially the German language, she wants to use all of these interests in a career someday. As a member of the Haringey Youth Council, Shakira represents the voice of young people in the borough, at local meetings and events.
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